I found your Smallstack quite by accident. From your first post I was flabbergasted seeing in black and white someone reaching inside me and writing my own story of my own emotional mind. Truly allowed me to see how we are never alone in what life has thrown at us. I suppose I should have awakened long ago and opened the curtain to see all the others behind it, but the fear and doubt was always slamming the curtain closed forcing me to live in my “safe” bubble never revealing who I am to the world. I also call a family history based on true events “the Book”I started 40 years ago but put it aside and have not touched it for the past twenty years. This time I am trying again only this time tearing down the separation curtain and began to write my own memoir this past week. You are so right in your words of how difficult it is to face our own source of dysfunction causes. Thank you so much for your insights and your thought provoking words. I hope you will take a look one day at my Substack, simply titled, Kathy’s Personal Substack Journey. Or more about me on my 10 year old Blog at www.bklynraised.com. The writing nudge has been with me since I was 16, hard to swat it away at this point, The only reason I made those suggestions is for you to see, as I have seen, how deeply your story of your life resonates so deeply with my own. Hope you didn’t mind my telling all this to you, just felt like the right thing to do and to thank you. I am reading all you have written now with gleeful anticipation.
Kathy, thank you for sharing all of this. I am thrilled that you stumbled on my stack and that it is resonating. This is precisely my hope in every single thing I write, that perhaps there will be someone, somewhere out in the big wide world that finds it at just the right time when they need it. I am so glad to hear you are dusting off your version of 'The Book' and ready to dig in again. At least for me, that first step was very meaningful and meant that my heart was tender to whatever would end up happening when I started writing... but wow was I not prepared for how much more would happen once I actually did start writing! I love your description of tearing down the separation curtain, that is so powerful - and feels very true! I've come to believe that yes we must constantly seek to heal and grow, it is our responsibility... but there are some things that are buried so deeply that we are perhaps unable to reach them until something outside ourselves + timing + whatever other magic cause the stars to align. Then suddenly, as you say, the separation curtain is gone and we can SEE. It sounds like this might truly be your time Kathy 💗 I look forward to learning more about your journey, and wish for us both to have the courage to keep writing - one day at a time.
Thank you, for sharing your insight and your experiences! You have a wonderful gift! I found Baby Reindeer thought provoking. One of the things that also stood out for me was. His Father was also sexually abused and had kept it a secret. I pray that some family healing was able to begin. As you well know talking, writing and sharing can be so healing.
Melinda thanks for reading and your kind words! That’s such a great point about the father. That part stuck out to me as well, wondering if and how the unspoken trauma of the dad actually contributed to Donny / Gadd being more susceptible to such similar abuse. And to your point, if they can also spread healing between each other. A tragedy and a miracle all at once perhaps 💗 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Rose - my experience watching Baby Reindeer was one of disturbing fascination. After reading your interpretation with your own script flipping trauma - I’d like to sincerely say - I’m so sorry that you went through that. You have to keep at this. You are a good writer with great style. I’m not sure if any literary genius said this but “keep writing until it hurts”. Thanks for sharing.
Well perhaps you are now the literary genius who said those words Leslie ❤️, a lot of truth to the benefits of writing until it hurts! Thanks for your kindness and empathy. If you’re interested, the intro series is now all published (parts 2 and 3) ☺️ which (I think!) is a lot lighter than this one :)
This was an exceptional read (which somehow feels inappropriate to say?). What I mean is you are an exceptional writer. I’m sorry to hear what you went through. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say (about anything). Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for your kind words Ciel. And no, at least to me that doesn't feel inappropriate at all. It is important for me know if I'm doing these memories justice. And what I mean by that is writing/packaging the memories in a way that allow others to connect or extract anything that is meant to be extracted from them. I've peeked at your page and can't wait to dig in more, looks like you've got some real doozies (in a good way) in there.
I found your Smallstack quite by accident. From your first post I was flabbergasted seeing in black and white someone reaching inside me and writing my own story of my own emotional mind. Truly allowed me to see how we are never alone in what life has thrown at us. I suppose I should have awakened long ago and opened the curtain to see all the others behind it, but the fear and doubt was always slamming the curtain closed forcing me to live in my “safe” bubble never revealing who I am to the world. I also call a family history based on true events “the Book”I started 40 years ago but put it aside and have not touched it for the past twenty years. This time I am trying again only this time tearing down the separation curtain and began to write my own memoir this past week. You are so right in your words of how difficult it is to face our own source of dysfunction causes. Thank you so much for your insights and your thought provoking words. I hope you will take a look one day at my Substack, simply titled, Kathy’s Personal Substack Journey. Or more about me on my 10 year old Blog at www.bklynraised.com. The writing nudge has been with me since I was 16, hard to swat it away at this point, The only reason I made those suggestions is for you to see, as I have seen, how deeply your story of your life resonates so deeply with my own. Hope you didn’t mind my telling all this to you, just felt like the right thing to do and to thank you. I am reading all you have written now with gleeful anticipation.
Kathy, thank you for sharing all of this. I am thrilled that you stumbled on my stack and that it is resonating. This is precisely my hope in every single thing I write, that perhaps there will be someone, somewhere out in the big wide world that finds it at just the right time when they need it. I am so glad to hear you are dusting off your version of 'The Book' and ready to dig in again. At least for me, that first step was very meaningful and meant that my heart was tender to whatever would end up happening when I started writing... but wow was I not prepared for how much more would happen once I actually did start writing! I love your description of tearing down the separation curtain, that is so powerful - and feels very true! I've come to believe that yes we must constantly seek to heal and grow, it is our responsibility... but there are some things that are buried so deeply that we are perhaps unable to reach them until something outside ourselves + timing + whatever other magic cause the stars to align. Then suddenly, as you say, the separation curtain is gone and we can SEE. It sounds like this might truly be your time Kathy 💗 I look forward to learning more about your journey, and wish for us both to have the courage to keep writing - one day at a time.
Thank you! You definitely inspire me
Thank you, for sharing your insight and your experiences! You have a wonderful gift! I found Baby Reindeer thought provoking. One of the things that also stood out for me was. His Father was also sexually abused and had kept it a secret. I pray that some family healing was able to begin. As you well know talking, writing and sharing can be so healing.
Much 💕
Melinda thanks for reading and your kind words! That’s such a great point about the father. That part stuck out to me as well, wondering if and how the unspoken trauma of the dad actually contributed to Donny / Gadd being more susceptible to such similar abuse. And to your point, if they can also spread healing between each other. A tragedy and a miracle all at once perhaps 💗 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Rose - my experience watching Baby Reindeer was one of disturbing fascination. After reading your interpretation with your own script flipping trauma - I’d like to sincerely say - I’m so sorry that you went through that. You have to keep at this. You are a good writer with great style. I’m not sure if any literary genius said this but “keep writing until it hurts”. Thanks for sharing.
Well perhaps you are now the literary genius who said those words Leslie ❤️, a lot of truth to the benefits of writing until it hurts! Thanks for your kindness and empathy. If you’re interested, the intro series is now all published (parts 2 and 3) ☺️ which (I think!) is a lot lighter than this one :)
I want you to know I read your whole post and it helped me understand some people in my life who have been through sexual assault.
Pam thanks for sharing. That means a great deal to me. Your grace and understanding towards them can be an important part of their healing.
Fascinating content, well written. I have more to say...
Dennis, thanks for your kinds words and for taking the time to read
This was an exceptional read (which somehow feels inappropriate to say?). What I mean is you are an exceptional writer. I’m sorry to hear what you went through. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say (about anything). Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for your kind words Ciel. And no, at least to me that doesn't feel inappropriate at all. It is important for me know if I'm doing these memories justice. And what I mean by that is writing/packaging the memories in a way that allow others to connect or extract anything that is meant to be extracted from them. I've peeked at your page and can't wait to dig in more, looks like you've got some real doozies (in a good way) in there.