All Hail the Corporate King: Part 2
Hi, dear ones.
As you probably realize, one of the goals of this newsletter has been to experiment, and part of the experiment has been forcing this introvert to lay her life out in the open - and to allow for an integration of all of my various parts.
I started out by, cautiously at first, then more boldly, sharing about some hard parts of my past.
Some of these stories were important for me to talk about because they lie under the surface in average daily life, so I wanted the opportunity to integrate them into the story of me more publicly. Also, these stories have been naturally top-of-mind because of the memoir work that I’ve been doing in the background.
In my last post, I discussed something more recent though. Mainly, the internal struggle that can occur when someone spends time in the corporate world, and then takes a lengthy break from it.
As I reflected on this recent article, it seemed to need… a sequel. So, here we go.
Study of the Machine
When referring to The Corporate World, it’s important to clearly define what that means.
Those who work in the corporate world are… people.
Neighbors, friends, family, self.
While there are some genuine snakes that work in those environments, there are genuine snakes everywhere. The environment of the corporate world is a system and for the most part, it’s the system, the machine, that’s broken - not the people.
‘For the most part’… but there’s a catch.
When you put people into a broken system and tell them that in order to succeed (that is, to progress and be able to support themselves and their families) they need to ‘fit’ into this system… they, we, anyone, will have to break themselves just a bit to fit, to blend in, with this the broken system.
For some people, this might mean engaging into more negative gossip than they normally would consider ethical or acceptable.
For others, it may mean they give into the temptation to bully someone even when they’ve experienced bullying themselves and know first hand how destructive it is.
For still others it may be a slow acceptance of tolerating poor treatment and disrespect that doesn’t align with who they are.
The breaking looks a little different for everyone, but the outcomes are similar. People stray from their own morals, values or worldviews - and eventually, they begin to feel the divide between what they believe and value vs how they are actually living day-to-day.
The shifts in each individual person are most often small, imperceptible even. But it adds up, and the eventual result is a sense of misalignment.
It is important to note that for some there will be a greater sense of misalignment due to a stronger sense of baseline values, even when the unfavorable behaviors or conditions aren’t extreme. Others may have less distinct values baselines and experience a sense of misalignment more due to engagement in increasingly unfavorable behaviors.
Regardless, all of these are both products-of and contributors-to the brokenness of the corporate systems.
A locomotive train’s travel is dependent on two (theoretically perfectly) parallel tracks. If one track becomes slightly askew, even by one millimeter, unless it is corrected it won’t be long until the distance between those two tracks grows to a scale of centimeters, then meters, and so on. We all know what happens to the train when the tracks are sufficiently skewed…
The corporate world as a system is a massive collection of people whose tracks have become ever-so-slightly askew, and the tendency is for those tracks to become increasingly skewed over time.
Moving Up the Ladder
It has been my personal experience that as I’ve progressed in my career, the drivers of and demands for internal misalignment increased. The higher the level of the role, for example, the more I acutely noticed the disparity between what was considered acceptable behavior for my male colleagues vs what was considered acceptable behavior for me or other women in roles similar to mine.
The more obvious this gap became, the more difficult it was for me to ignore. At the same time, if I wanted to continue to progress in my career, it seemed to become increasingly important for me to give off the impression that I didn’t notice the gaps.
So essentially, over time I was being asked to - to use another parallel lines metaphor - ski downhill with my skis more and more wide apart and askew. In real life, I’m not a great skier, but even I know this is not an efficient way to ski if I’m trying to get somewhere in a hurry.
It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to suggest that sexism, which runs like a river through the corporate world, is also a system. And here too, it is the system that, for the most part, is the problem. Not the individual men (though there are, of course, exceptions.)
Yes, I’m Still Obsessed with Greece
Walking the ancient ruins of Greece these last weeks I couldn’t help but notice the prevalence of attention on men’s accomplishments throughout the course of history.
It can be easy to romanticize the past, to look at the freedom of sexual expression or homosexuality or even gender fluidity in these cultures. To imagine that they embraced diversity and somehow we as a modern civilization screwed all that up.
It seems like a glint of hope that the Greeks put such emphasis on their female gods, praising them not only for their beauty, grace, and sexuality but also for their strength and their intelligence.
But let’s get real: In their invention of democracy, women still weren’t included or given the right to vote.
Patriarchy is a system, and it goes way back to early human civilizations.
So, here is the question: Can I expect a single modern man to undo all of that?
How Do We Fix It?
Let’s say that a modern man in the corporate world is a part of a married family where they have decided that the wife will stay home with the children and the husband will work and provide for the family financially.
Now back to that misalignment example where my skis are far apart and askew. Now imagine that working husband and I are both skiing down that metaphorical hill and he glances over and notices how much harder I, as a woman who needs to support myself and my own family, am working to ski with my skis farther apart and more askew.
He has a choice to make, now, right?
The man can veer across the mountain to where I am and lend a hand (or a ski pole). This is likely to slow him down a bit and potentially give me more of an equal shot at, say, being promoted. Or, in one quick moment he can make the (sadly, socially acceptable) choice to gain some advantage from my (convenient, for him) disadvantage and speed down the hill towards success, promotion, and increased ability to support his own wife and family.
So again - can I expect a single modern man to undo a millennium of patriarchal history within the context of the corporate world?
I can.
And at the core of hope and expectation that others will choose the high moral road over their own progression and success, I want to expect that.
I feel justified to expect that.
But for the most part, I only end up angry and frustrated if I do.
Anger and frustration aren’t all bad, and I’d venture to say that most real change is driven by people who are angry or frustrated with the way things are. So it isn’t a waste and should not be entirely discarded.
But this is clearly a marathon, not a sprint, so it is a bit balancing act.
The reverse of the original railroad track metaphor is also true, in that as each individual makes effort to move back to alignment and return to parallel, and helps others do the same, the system can improve over time.
Only individuals can fix broken systems, absolutely. But this shit is big.
In the meantime, directing the vast majority of anger and frustration at broken systems, instead of broken individuals, brings more peace, and less division.
But Isn’t It Still Broken?
Yes, it is still broken.
I didn’t say I know how to fix it.
All I know is that I value and respect the people who are over it and have gotten out. But I also value and respect the people who are hanging in there, still within the systems.
And this is the real point…
Just like in politics, people tend to swing far right or far left. But anyone who knows me well knows that I think the majority of the arguments either far left or far right are… well, never mind…
The point is we humans love polarizing issues, we love being right, we love idolizing those with high salaries and fancy titles in industry as much as we love idolizing the starving, free spirited creative.
Instead of those extremes, lets focus on the core, the roots. Let’s value others based on shit that actually matters, and strive to live lives that are aligned with our own values as much as we possibly can, no matter where we are.
Best,
~Amanda Rose
This is well written. Thank you, well done 🧡🧡